Why do we love to publicly shame personal choices?

On Friday I was listening to the morning show Johnny’s House on XL106.7. They have a segment called Sidetakers where two people call in to have their dispute settle by the audience and must agree to abide to the audience’s decision. This week Sidetakers featured two women, Sharon & Dawn, who called in about their upcoming girls weekend in Key West. There are six girls that go every year, but this year there is a bit of controversy with one of the friends.

One friend was caught cheating and is getting a divorce. The rest of the girls’ husbands are uneasy about her going. Sharon wants her to come because the friend has expressed the fact that she needs to get away and be around her friends for support. Dawn is firm on not letting the friend come on the trip, as the husbands are in an uproar about a cheater coming on the trip, Dawn does not want the rest of the girls to come back to a tense home.

What I found interesting was the morning host, Laura Diaz’s interactions with Dawn. She told Dawn “She did not cheat on her” , which cause Dawn to go into a hissy fit. Even accusing Laura Diaz of cheating on her husband. Really… Just because someone did not agree with Dawn’s point of view, does not automatically make them a cheater.

While the majority of the audience members did side with Sharon, Dawn’s automatic reaction was that she is not going on the trip; as she does not want to jeopardize her marriage. She still judges her friend actions and has decided to turn her back on friend in her time of need.  I loved Johnny’s Magic quote of “He judge’s his friend but is still their friend”. Yes, he does not agree with friends judgement and their actions. He is still there as friend.  Often times we need our friends to be that shoulder to cry on to help us through the difficult times in our lives.

Which got me thinking about this past week with the Ashley Madison Scandal, Josh Duggar, and a few other people that have made it their life purpose to judge people. Wasn’t this country founded on religious freedom? But yet, we are still judging people based on what religious beliefs are going on.

What people do in their personal time and lives is truly none of business to judge. As long as they are not hurting or causing damage others in society. Why should we care? Why should we pass judgement on how a person chooses to be happy?

Everyone on Ashley Madison is looking for something that we are never been taught. To express our sexual desire in a healthy manner or environment. While many, many, many people are judging others for being on a site that was created to fit a niche market. The reality is cheating has been around since the dawn of time, along with politicians and sex workers. People will always find a way to cheat. It’s just the internet has made it much easier to cheat, but not everyone is savvy enough to hide it or how to discover if the significant other is.

While it is easier to publicly shame people than rather than address the elephant in the room. History has taught us it has been happening forever. For it is easier to control people with fear and guilt rather than empowering them. Here we are in 21st century, with an upcoming Presidential election coming up, the majority of the candidates are bringing religion into the campaign.  Why, because the majority of the United States rather be righteous and judgmental than trying to mind our own business and look for our own happiness.

Over my lifetime, I have seen the judgement people have had over Homosexuality, Lesbian, Transgender, Bisexuality, Marriage Right’s, Women’s Right to choose about their health (such as abortions, birth control)  AIDS, Sex Scandals, Sex Workers Right’s and my favorite topic (the whole reason I started blogging) Comprehensive Sex Education.  The majority of the root of the cause of this judgement is religion.

When Josh Duggar was first brought up on child sexual abuse molestation charges, many of 19 and Countingfollowers gather together and prayed. Yet, lots of the conservative groups stilled stand behind them. Once, he was outed for being on Ashley Madison and for being with a Adult Film Star, that is when the conservative groups started to disassociate themselves from the Duggar Family all together. They were ok with an arrange marriage. Yes, Josh and Anna were an arrange marriage in the 21st century. The only reason we still have arrange marriages in the 21st century is because of political and financial reason. We are ok with that. Right!

Why are we are ok with that. It is easier to focus on other people problems than deal with our own problems. We do need to encourage others that it is ok to make yourself a priority and take care of yourself before anyone else. To get to know yourself and know what you love about yourself to be able to communicate to another your personal desires without fear, judgment or shame.

Sorry if it sounds a bit of a political personal soapbox. We need to treat each other with respect instead of publicly shaming people into a warp sense of a religious reality.  I am a spiritual person, I was born and raised a Roman Catholic. I do believe in God. Does that make a bad person that I do not believe in publicity shaming a person for their personal choices. Probably with most people. I am ok with that. Hope you enjoyed my post!

Later days

Angelique Luna

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